I wrote this as I found it difficult for me to gather words to describe the way I was feeling.
Lost in a feeling, deep into the unknown.
Trying to find ground between what is fleeting and eternal. Riding between circumstance and a soon to be reality of a dream fulfilled. Love lost, but found in another land. Love is never lost, but only goes. She grows, to discover. Never can she stay too long in one place, but always searches for those who need her most. So I'll follow love into the darkness where she can be a light. Maybe I can be a light with her.
Love always requires more. So if I want to know more of her, then I must also be willing to give myself to her. She requires more, but always gives more. I want to, want to give everything. Will I chase after her or stay within my own boundaries? Sometimes love migrates. Her intention is never to leave or to abandon me but rather, to challenge me to follow her in order to discover a deeper beauty - to learn true humility. I want to see love in her perfect and full state. I hear love's call for me to follow her into the deep unknown in order to discover more in this journey: to find love and her home. Soon to be my home. I hear a thought-whisper that resounds into an echoing invitation in my spirit:
"To find love in a deeper place."
What does this mean? Where do I find love? Not just traces of her, but all of her.
"In her context, and not your own."
My ideas of love are mere ideas, but her fullness, beauty, power, and capacity are so much greater than my mere ideas and knowledge of her. She is holy. I've only seen a glimpse. I've only had partial experiences.
We've only seen a glimpse of her, but have not fully yet known her in the way she longs to be known and meant to be known. When we find love soon, in her context and not our own, we meet her in a deeper place. Sometimes in a darker place where not many will want to go, but the peace we come to know holds a new permanence and deeper understanding.
Love, can never be taken, but she always gives freely and generously. Love, can never be taken out of her context and manipulated for selfish gain, but she can be present and serves others in any and every context. Her motive is pure. Her purpose is Holy. There is a stillness unheard of and a divine covering and protection that comes from following her. She calls out something greater in us. She requires us to do strange things and go to unfamiliar places because that is where she is most needed. Even in darkness and in the cold, we can and will still feel her warmth and are guided by her light. As we trust her and choose her, she is with us, always. This is her promise. Where she goes, I will go. This is my promise.
What if we are being called out respond with a new courage to living? Love requires courage. What if this courage required not some of us, but all of us? Every ounce of our being. I think of that saying people say: "Where there is great risk, there is great reward." I believe this is absolutely true with love. What if what we believed in fully manifested itself into reality? Where there is great love, there is greater love. Love is not a game. Love, is not a joke. It takes a leap of faith to get to any destination, but the outcome of taking a leap of faith for and with love - is that we are no longer on the ledge of that same mountain, stuck on fear, riding on the same thought, pondering all our lives if we should've or should leap(ed). When we choose love, love always wins. We can be self-motivated or love-motivated. But it's always a choice.
What if this was our simple mission? To pursue love's only purpose: to know her fully and make her fully known. Once we choose love over our own desire to be known and over our greatest fears, we can no longer fear what we don't know. When we are consumed by love, we cannot abide in fear. We cannot worship both love and fear. When we believe in the truth that love holds, rather than the unbelief that keeps us from taking leap(s) of faith, our lives will transform. Love allows us to naturally believe in the supernatural and live carrying out a life manifested by her presence and purpose, which has no limitations. We are then a body, mind, spirit, and soul in sync, possessed by love herself. What if we are each a vessel to carry out this purpose? Simple love. To steward what she gives us well and make her known to those who need her most.
As it is said, the destination is the journey, because an authentic journey produces an authentic destination. What if, Love - is the journey and the destination. Don't look back in fear, but follow love as she welcomes you home, soul.